Authors I Won’t Review

I have broken up with James Patterson. Yes, we used to have a very intense reader to author relationship. He wrote and I read. For years, he produced fast paced suspense novels and I read them all. Not anymore. James and I are no longer an item.

It all started when he began to farm out his writing. The books had his name on them in big bright letters. The title was slightly smaller. And somewhere on the covers, in small print that blended with the background, was the “co-author”. I gave James the benefit of the doubt. I mean, we’d been together for years… but I knew right away that this was NOT his writing. I felt betrayed.

I decided that I would stick to the Alex Cross novels because, for the moment, only his name was on the cover. I was still irked about the other books, but I had grown awfully fond of Alex and his family, so I ignored the other books and just read Cross novels. That is, until Cross Country. Alex Cross was not the character I knew in that book. Characters evolve… but Cross just did things he would never do. I knew him pretty well after 13 books, so I do feel like I can say this with confidence. Anyway, that was the last straw.

James, it’s over.

The other author I refuse to review is Jodi Picoult. She has a reputation for “ripped from the headlines” plotlines that are incredible and compelling and controversial. She sucks you in and makes you think… and then she drops the ball… every time. I won’t spoil anything because I promised this blog would be spoiler free, but let me tell you this: These situations are messy. These books end with everything conveniently tied up with a pretty bow. I gave her several chances to commit to truly putting it all out there, but after My Sister’s Keeper I gave up. Jodi, you take the easy way out. I’m sorry, we can’t continue our relationship.

So, don’t expect to see Picoult or Patterson here. We’re a broken family and there is no visitation or shared custody. Sometimes it’s better that way.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Authors I Won’t Review

  1. Amen. As a writer, I just can’t stomach when authors like James Patterson farm out their writing, even if it is sometimes in the interest of grooming up-and-comers. That’s why they invented BLURBS!

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